I found my home in writing

Arrvee
3 min readMay 23, 2022
Thanks to the unknown photographer! My love to you

It’s become a habit now. I was just anticipating and waiting for this day since the day I started writing. I resisted the urge of writing this title for many days, weeks if not months. It’s my fear inhibiting me from doing so. I want myself to be addicted to something or the other. But, I always wanted it to happen organically. I didn’t try pushing myself into anything beyond a boundary. I made sure of it. Be it anything, the moment I start it, I enjoy it to the maximum extent and the immediate feeling would be that I’m going to be a master of it. But, the curiosity dies off after a week or so. With writing, it wasn’t the case. Maybe because I started seeing myself writing things I haven’t expected and the vocabulary I never intended to use so far. I always tell this that writing surprises me every now and then. It makes me go crazy for a minute to write down my thoughts and the next moment, I’m this calm and relaxed person just because I could gather the words for my thoughts and write them down. I write when I’m happy-sad, when I’m surprised-disappointed, when I’m pleased-irked, when I’m content-complacent, when I’m in love- heartbroken, when I’m anxious-calm, when I’m alone-around people, when I’m awake-asleep(debatable), when I want to write-don’t want to write and most importantly, when I’m at home and when I want to feel at home. I’ve always felt that I’m a misfit in this human community but this writing made me feel not so. I’ve always felt that I was running a race alone and writing made me feel good about it. Writing made me feel so powerful that these words made me believe that I can change the world for the good. Writing and thinking go hand in hand. Writing is one of the means of thinking. You write what you think. BOOM! Now, you see what you think. That’s beautiful, right! Often, it’s about confronting what you think. What do you do in Meditation? They say, “Let the thoughts flow, observe them”. This is what we are doing in writing as well but with a bit of latency. I hope we can make up for that latency factor too. Writing is Meditation. Sometimes, you just forget where you are, what you are wearing, what are you doing, and what’s happening around you. You just write. Write. Write. Write. I don’t love pleasing anyone with my opinions, or ideas when it comes to writing. With writing, I’ve discovered that I’m completely fine with being judged. I agree that there were times when I was overly critical of judgments. With time, it faded away. I’m somebody who doesn’t love it when the room is filled with people of similar opinions. I’d love to hear different perspectives. That’s when the drama starts. You tell yours. Some agree. Some disagree. Some strongly disagree. That’s when you get to hear explanation and justification, you get to hear defense and denial, you get to hear reasons and excuses, and many more on this front. All of this is the substance for writing. You write what you hear, what you see, what you feel, and whatnot. Write everything you sense. There is a great chance history will remember you as a decent writer if not a great one. Last but not least! I always have a satisfaction meter inside my mind every time I write a piece and I just make sure to act like I shied away from it but deep down I knew that the satisfaction meter value wasn’t going beyond 40% most of the time. This piece of writing would be super special in that case. I can clearly feel the 80% of the meter thus taking a stand by writing something from which I shied away even to think of, in the past. Until next time, take care ❤

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